Monday, December 22, 2008

Professional Crisis :S

I woke up this morning with the feeling that I don't know what's next... This morning I discovered that the days of being one of the best students of the class, of know what's next, of have a clear near future are gone.... out of the University life is different... not as easy as I thought.

I realized this morning that the only thing that I know is that I don't know anything. Today is one of my "Dias con malparidits cosmica...", I think that I'm not as good as they said, that I was something, and now the world is getting bigger and bigger... I'm afraid to dissapoint myself and the others... days are going so fast and I can't deliver all the things that I want each day....

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm looking just few things, not the big picture of me... as a friend of mine said to me, we are young and we want to have all the world in our hands, but to do that it will take some time, it doesn't matter how smart or successfully you are, things happens with the time, we have just to follow the road, the correct one, without shortcuts....

I have to define what to do next year before this year ends... days are going and the deadline is just here, all the responsability is on my shoulders, Sincerly, I have fear "miedito", fear of not achieve my dreams, fear of do things that I don't like, of live others life, of do something that at the end is not going to give me anything, of take a wrong choise or desicion... In this moment I really need to trust that good things happen to good people (as a close person of my heart told me last week), and to believe in this.

As she told me "life is a colors box, you born with your colors, and when you begin to meet people you will share your colors, you give and recive colors... you color people's life with your own colors and they put some color on yours... that's life... sharing colors and put some color on people's life :) "

Now I need more color in my life, in order to clean my future... I know that I will find that colors, the question is... when?

Odio los dias de malparidez existencial.......

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