Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Feliz Año! Happy New year! Frohes neues Jahr! An nou fericit!

A new year's eve is coming and brings to me again all this feelings about the past and the future... All the years is the same for me, thinking about what this years brought to me and what are the things that I will keep in me in order to grow and enjoy more the next year :) . So this thoughts will show you what are this things that for me are the most important, and that I will keep in the deep of my heart :)
  • Going out home: This was the first thing that I did this year. I wanted it for a long time, I applied to work in Google, they didn't call me :( , so AIESEC sent me an email... and the story began :) . When I left home I was 22 in my ID and 19 in my head, I left home with a big smile in my face and tears in my eyes, with my heart beating like a drum and suitcase full of dreams and desires...
  • Living in other place with other people: As I told you, I used to live with and Hungarian, for a long time, after a Greek came and also a German... Live with this incredible people gave to me a lot of personal experience, only to give a name, all this different persons gave me something that helped me to grew up.
  • Cultural Shock: Cultural differences did on me a lot of things, say Hello to everybody (to show that nothing happens if you say it), smile, tolerance and patience...
  • Truly Colombian: Being far from your country makes that you love it more and more each day. Now Colombia means for me the place where I want to stay, where I want to have my family... I know that I will travel a lot, but my "Headquarter" will be my country :) . And also I always am telling to everybody all the beautiful things of Colombia :P .
  • Engineer: After 5 years of hard work I receive my Systems Engineer Degree, as my friends do. This mean for me that all the work that you did, all the things that you do in order to achieve your dreams will bring as result that: your dream. As a teacher told me several years before: "Celebra hoy porque el sabor de la victoria es mucho mas agradable que el amargo del sudor para conseguirla"
  • Simply her: I met a person some months before that change something in my life, for few months she brought me to the heaven, I lived incredible days with her... now things have changed a lot, but in me remains all that incredible days that show me how it feels when you are living a dream :)

The next year is just here, so let me wish you a Happy 2009, that all yours dreams and hopes will be realized and for sure 2009 will be better that this :)

Como se ve en la foto este 2008 se esta acabando, pero el fin no solo es tristeza, tambien muestra un nuevo horizonte, una nueva luz que llega y que irradiara nuestras vidas. 2009 sin duda sera un periodo increible en todas nuestras vidas... el amanecer esta alli no mas, solo necesitamos no dejarlo pasar :)


Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Engineer's year

One of the things that I will keep in my heart is that all of my dear friends became engineers!!! After 5 years of hard work, of learning, of share our lives.... we are engineers!! I know that there is one person that is still fighting for it, but I'm sure that she will do it, is just the end of the road that she needs to travel :) .

This is one of this things that changes your life, when you see that all your efforts makes sense, that all the time that you invest in your dreams makes them true :) After this achievement there are more complex responsibilities, life out of the U is not as simple as we thought, the road to travel is long, now is not a 5 years road... is a life road! I'm sure that I will meet again all this incredible persons somewhere in the future, I don't know when, but between us remains that "mystical" link that never will let to loose the contact :P

So, more than things learned, this is part of that things achieved in this year, that is the most incredible year in my life, for sure ;)


Saturday, December 27, 2008

When everything fails...

This week happened all the bad things that can happen in a flat... the company did not pay the electricity, so they cut it off, they told us that they are people going to see the flat in order to buy it, there are huge holes in the floor because the flat has problems with the water pipes.... and the little cherry of the cake: one day before Christmas eve the pipe of the hot water broke.... so all the flat had a very "special" level of water...

So, what do you do when everything fails.... and when you think that it doesn't be worse... something happen and shows you that you were wrong? It's simple! You only have to smile :) . Things happens because a reason, good or bad, everything gives you somehting. So, enjoy it! :P As I did cleaning the flat with this inundation... or went to sleep early because we didn't have electricity. You can find somehing good in every bad thing that happen, the difference between winners and loosers could be defined like that, you are a winner when you wake up after falling and learn something in order to not fall again.

So, regarding this "ending season", I learn this, to smile when everything seems to fail... because you will have a very high probability to learn something new... isn't it?

Friday, December 26, 2008

The circle of life

Last night was my first "second" time where I was alone in the flat... why second? because when I arrived here I lived alone in the flat, until David came... Now, I'm alone again because Mathias left the flat in order to live in his new room in "Mom's house". When I arrived home last night I had the same feeling that 11 months before. In that moment I realized something: I am closing circles in my little life in this country. I have at least 20 days more in this country, each day is an opportunity to think about this place, about all the stories here between this environment and me.

I've been thinking on it for the last 12 hours... and I begin to remind that this experience is a little life, every that have happened to me here can be defined as a circle. From food to love, every is a circle, let me give you an example. When I arrived here I only ate food at the "food court" close to here, after getting bored of the same food and expensive prices I decided to use the restaurant that sold food to the company. After several months of eating typical Dominican cheaper lunches, they decided to don't sell anymore... so I had to came back to the "food court", but now with more expensive prices and with only one option "Italian food". As you can see I'm doing the same as the beginning, like closing the circle, and this is only one simple example of all the circles that I'm closing...

Each day I feel that I'm more close to leave, more close to my friends, more close to the cold and more close to definitions... I don't have anything clear about my future... but I think, as Forrest Gump Mom, that "you've got to put the past behind you before you can move on", so maybe is that, I need to close all this circles in order to find what's going next.........

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Good Persons

All this month I was missing something... the Christmas feeling... that spirit that makes me smile all the day... and yesterday, after having one of the worst days in this place, I had a sunrise in my life. I realize some things that I've been thinking for several weeks and after have strange feelings in my heart, that were annoying me, something blow up all that bad things and now my heart is quiet and kind of happy :) In a next post I will tell you what things I realized, now I want to tell you what is giving me this peace... After 23 days of December, I feel for the first time the Christmas feeling :) in this place.

How did I feel it? It wasn't the lights, the snow, the "novena" or the "natilla"... it was the people... not the people of this country... just people that are close to me and show me the good spirit of this season :)

But, who are this persons? Let me introduce to Joe, an English guy who spend his Christmas free money buying presents for the poor children of the north of the country. He is one of he most nice persons that I've met. He is kind of crazy (as you are if you're and AIESECer :P) but he has a very good heart. Yesterday I was in his home and he brought a lot of toys, like a real Santa, coming from the cold UK to the Caribbean giving presents :) .

The other guy that brought me this special feeling is my dear Alexandru. Now he is on his way to Bavaro, but last night he gave me one of the best presents that I've ever have. My first Moleskine :), for you to know Moleskine is the heir of the legendary notebooks, used by Europeans artists and thinkers for the past two centuries. And he gave me that and said me: "This is for your southamerican trip" and in the dedication he wrote "Because some trips needs to be written down" :) . Howcome you bring an special book, from the other side of the world to gift it in Christmas to a person that you didn't know? That things are done only by good people. With this gift I realize that the next year I have to be in, at least, 5 countries of this world, in order to write something in my Moleskine :) .

This two events in my life, gave me back this Christmas feeling, after 23 days of Christmas season :P . Today is going a very good day, I know that. This week began with a very bad day but now is getting better and better....

Feliz Navidad!!! Merry Christmas!! Boun natale!! Crăciun fericit!! :)

Bueno, este post es corto pero sustancioso. Es solo para desear una muy pero muy feliz navidad a cada una de las personas que siguen este blog, que tengan una muy buena celebracion rodeados de las personas que quieren y que no olviden el significado de esta fecha tan importante, no es solo cuestión de dar un regalo y emborracharse... es mucho mas que eso, es estar en familia, con los amigos, es sentir ese espiritú de paz y alegría que se puede respirar siempre en esta epoca... es recordar que hace mas de 2000 años una persona fue regalada al mundo para mostrarnos que las cosas pueden ser diferentes, que con amor y esfuerzo se puede cambiar nuestro entorno :) .

Merry Christmas to all!! Hope that this Xmas spirit will be with you and with all the people that are close to your heart :) .

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Love Theories

When I left home, eleven months ago, I didn't realize all the things that will happen in this journey. And a proof of that is this post. Let me show you a post that I wrote several months ago, I hide it because I didn't want to think more about it. Today, reading it again, I discover how inspired I was in that moment, everything was clear, and I just realized this. Let me introduce you to... me, two things that define me in the deep of my heart: Love and science :P



Does somebody have a list of requirements, tasks, things to fall in love with a girl?? Sometime ago, I believed that, and I supposed that my list was wrong..... now I don't have a list :), actually I begin to think that there is no algorithm....

Regarding an exelent movie, maybe we always are looking for things that are measurable, we try to find a quantum of love, a measure that indicate me that people loves me. Now I can say that love is something more, more than a measure...

Is a feeling?... of course, love is a feeling.... you know what is love when you feel it!!!!! but its different, because is a shared feeling. Of course, you can love without someone's love, but its not the same, because you don't feel all what love is. Then, what is the difference with the others feelings?? I think that ithe difference is... believing... believe in the love of the other people. We don't need a quantum of love, the measure of love are not the gifts, kisses, poems, songs.... whatever that people give or say when they are in love. Its just to believe that people loves you.... that's the secret!!!

Belief and trust..... that's the point. If you don't believe and trust in the people, then you never be able to love and be loved. I know, this is really difficult, because it hurts when somebody brokes it.... but this is the risk of love.... this is the kind of risks that I like to take :) . Love only exists when you trust and believe in love.... and of curse in the people who love you :).

From my personal exp
erience, I am like St Tomas, not believe until I see... I am accustomed to test everything, because my scientific training, but I learned that there are somethings that cannot be tested, like faith or love. I always try to find the answers to the questions.... It's better if I quote a spechless of one of my favorites movies, A beautiful mind. At the end of the movie when John Nash is speaking he said: "I've always believed in numbers and the equations and logics that lead to reason." For me is the same, I need a proof to believe in things, then I asked to me, what about happiness, can be proven??

The answer is easy, no. I defined some items that you have to achieve to be happy. I was wrong!!!!! Maybe it depends, can vary from person to person. For me happinnes can be defined by one word, LOVE! You can have a job, have money, have a family, have all, but if you don't have love.... for me love works..... In a systems way, love could be the relationships between all the things in life. Without love, nothing can works...

As John Nash said : "
It's only in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found". I know that love is maybe the most illogical thing that you can feel :P . But when your life is connected with love, you will be able to so whatever you can get. As I heared in a song (Thank you Raga :P) "The soul has no limitation" And you know what they said... that love is the language of the soul :D....



Now, months after write this I realize that is true, all of this is true. Now I don't have this connections between all my life things, but love is still there, waiting to be reactivated....

Monday, December 22, 2008

Professional Crisis :S

I woke up this morning with the feeling that I don't know what's next... This morning I discovered that the days of being one of the best students of the class, of know what's next, of have a clear near future are gone.... out of the University life is different... not as easy as I thought.

I realized this morning that the only thing that I know is that I don't know anything. Today is one of my "Dias con malparidits cosmica...", I think that I'm not as good as they said, that I was something, and now the world is getting bigger and bigger... I'm afraid to dissapoint myself and the others... days are going so fast and I can't deliver all the things that I want each day....

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm looking just few things, not the big picture of me... as a friend of mine said to me, we are young and we want to have all the world in our hands, but to do that it will take some time, it doesn't matter how smart or successfully you are, things happens with the time, we have just to follow the road, the correct one, without shortcuts....

I have to define what to do next year before this year ends... days are going and the deadline is just here, all the responsability is on my shoulders, Sincerly, I have fear "miedito", fear of not achieve my dreams, fear of do things that I don't like, of live others life, of do something that at the end is not going to give me anything, of take a wrong choise or desicion... In this moment I really need to trust that good things happen to good people (as a close person of my heart told me last week), and to believe in this.

As she told me "life is a colors box, you born with your colors, and when you begin to meet people you will share your colors, you give and recive colors... you color people's life with your own colors and they put some color on yours... that's life... sharing colors and put some color on people's life :) "

Now I need more color in my life, in order to clean my future... I know that I will find that colors, the question is... when?

Odio los dias de malparidez existencial.......

Saturday, December 20, 2008

What I do all the mornings

I want to share with you what I do all the morning when I arrive to the office, after sleep for few hours, in "sleepy" mode and with not to much interesting tasks to do.

I listen this speech....



This give me the force to keep me sit in that place, to give my best in order to do that tasks, to no complain about the situation, to think that this is the road that I'm walking to achieve my dreams, to hope that tomorrow will be better....

I'm part of, maybe, the most intelligent team that I've ever been. Each day I go for each inch, as the team does. Sometimes it doesn't works, or nobody see it.... but I always am doing the best things for me and for the others, because it will give us, and me, the best results (regarding the goverment dynamics theory :P ). So this speech give me that each day, and... what gives you that extra energy to live each day and go for each inch?

I don’t know what to say, really. Three minutes to the biggest battle of our professional lives. All comes down to today, and either, we heal as a team, or we're gonna crumble. Inch by inch, play by play. Until we're finished. We're in hell right now, gentlemen. Believe me. And, we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb outta hell... one inch at a time. Now I can't do it for ya, I'm too old. I look around, I see these young faces and I think, I mean, I've made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make. I, uh, I've pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who's ever loved me. And lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror. You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches, so is football. Because in either game - life or football - the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half a step too late or too early and you don't quite make it. One half second too slow, too fast and you don't quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They're in every break of the game, every minute, every second. On this team we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when add up all those inches, that's gonna make the fucking difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying! I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch. And I know, if I'm gonna have any life anymore it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch, because that's what living is, the six inches in front of your face. Now I can't make you do it. You've got to look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes. Now I think ya going to see a guy who will go that inch with you. Your gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team, because he knows when it comes down to it your gonna do the same for him. That's a team, gentlemen, and either, we heal, now, as a team, or we will die as individuals. That's football guys, that's all it is. Now, what are you gonna do?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Evolution

In words of Raga: "Cultural differences will make you evolve...", and how it made me evolve during this year!

Living and working in Dominican Republic was one of the most important challenges of my life. A different culture with different ways to do the things. Each day was a challenge, take the "carrito publico", going to the "colmado", trying to underestand the "mi amol, klk, mardito calor", trying to not speak so much because they will recognize your accent and will ask you money... and also sweating a lot in this place....

All of this made on me a change, from the way I ask for something, now I'm more polite (in order to show that you don't loose anything for say thank you :) ), to the appreciation of the small things in life, like electricity or hot water (small things because in Colombia we have them always....). Maybe I didn't have this huge professional experience that I wanted, but at the personal level this was the experience of my life, discovering a lot of things that are in me and that now I can use in order to be a better world citizen :)

I want to share with you a part of our "MC invitation" video, where you can find what means evolution for us :) .


Smile when someone is taking a picture of you :)

I'm seeing the pictures of the last weekend party, and I see that now I'm smiling in all the pics :) . This is one of the things that I've learned here. I know that I'm not the most beautiful person, and taking into consideration that the pictures of me are not he best, I never smiled to the camera, because I didn't like pictures.

More than 6 months ago I met a person who love to take pictures... after hundred of pictures I learned something.... to smile, why? because the picture will be better if I smile :) (also because I have a "Colgate" smile :P) And I realized that with the last pictures, as you can see in my facebook profile. All the pictures where I'm smiling are very nice. So, as somebody said, smile all the time, because you don't know when someone can fall in love with your smile :)

This is one of the things that I learned here, to smile more often :) (also in the mails an blogs :P)

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Patience

The first lesson that I had in this place was Patience, and that lesson came from a person who left this place yesterday...

David Dul, an Hungarian, that I met 10 months ago... gave me this important lesson, "Patience, tolerance and respect the differences". Me and he are similar in the highest level, you know about ideas, books, that things related to the brain activity that we call emotions, feelings, sensibility.... that things that make us humans :) . In the other hand.... in the base level, I mean, in the behavioral level we are totally differents. He lives like a pig... :P . He doesn't do the cleaning, his room were always dirty, his bathroom...., I had a lot of discussions with him about this. He never changed. After some months of trying to living with him, I began to be more patient. To respect his decisions, to leave him be as he is.

And one moth ago we were drinkin, after talking of everything I realized that he gave one of the most importants lessons in my life, and I told him that, that he is a very important part of my story here in this place. I realized it again yesterday when, with tears in his eyes, he said goodbye to us. Now he is in his country, far far away from this island. That's something that give me hits in my heart... when somebody has shiny eyes. Yesterday I saw in his shiny eyes that human part, that thing that make us similars, that human that is in his heart, that person that I met ten months ago and that yesterday gave me a hit in my heart....

I only have to hope good luck for him, maybe we can meet again in the future.. anyway I only keep in my heart all the good memories from him.. Gracias por todo y ya tu sabe....

Monday, December 15, 2008

Ending season

Today is the first day of my last month in Dominican Republic. For this reason from now I will put in this blog as many post as I can regarding my experience in this island. Good things, others not as good, but without a doubt experiences that made the person who I am now.

So let me open this "Ending season", days are going and the leaving is coming....

Friday, December 12, 2008

La multi ani

Today is 12 of 12, a very particular date. Leaving behind that is the 12 of the month 12, or that is December, or that is Dominican Republic. All of this don't make sense if I don't be in this same time-space (regarding the relative theory :P) with a special person. Why is she special? because she had a special place in my life. Now she has an space in my life and in my heart, I don't know if I have it in her... I don't care, the important thing is what I feel and the good things that I have inside :)

Today I have the fortunate of being here (time-space), in her birthday!!! The first birthday that I share with her, and maybe the last...... Now I've that feeling in my mind and heart, so the only thing that I've to do in this special day is to celebrate.

Life is a game of inches... you have to take each opportunity that you have to be happy. So I will enjoy this day, I know that this is not going to make me happy, but maybe I can help in the happiness of her... and that's enough for me :)

Also, sometimes I think that I could have given more, that the things were in my hands, that maybe I could changed something, that maybe... I know that you can't change anything that happened before, but sometimes I feel that things could be different than now. But the now is now, the day after day that I live, so I've to learn to live with the life that I have now, and each day try to improve it.

This event is telling me that I'm living the last days in this place, that I'm living the last moments of this part of my life; I'm writing the last lines of this golden part of my book, and I want to have a "happy end", like in the magic tales :P .

Solo me queda por decir "FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS" o La Multi Ani, como mejor lo entiendan :P . Así suene cursi, doy gracias a Dios por haberme dado la oportunidad de compartir este día tan especial contigo, espero que lo imbécil o no que fui ese día haya hecho de el algo especial. Cada vez tendré menos momentos para estar cerca, así que espero aprovecharlos no siendo tan imbécil....

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

New item in the list :)

What means this picture for you? Ask it, and tell me later :P

For me this picture give me an idea, a dream, a new place to go! what is this place... you can check it out. (Is in Spanish, because is more pretty than in English :P)

This is the newest item in my travel list! I don't know when I will be there, maybe after my Southamerican trip or the European trip.. it doesn't matter. The thing is that this island will be one of my places.

Now I have some options to go out, I don't know where I will be, but the decision will be taken sooner. Anyway I want so much to go to a Cuban Son Bar.... Cuba, I will be there!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

State Superposition... not in a Quantum Level

As we know, in the quantum level we can have objects with two or more measurables states at the same time. This is called Quantum Superposition, I know that is a very complex topic, just think in the Schrödinger's cat, that thought experiment, Gedankenexperiment in german, that creates a cat that is alive and dead at the same time, really strange :P

Why am I talking about this? because today I feel in a Superposition of states.... All the things that I have been telling to you are happening at the same time: Christmas, far from home, loneliness, life decisions, friends, future.... all of this makes me feel a lot of things, creating a superposition of feelings :P . Now I'm quite happy, because I did the task that my boss gave me. During the lunch I will think that I have a lot of stuff to do, so I will lunch fast and come back, quite stressed. After that I will feel tired, because last night I only slept 3 Hours, so I will leave the office and have a meeting with the people of my freelance job :) . I hope that we will sign the contract so I will have the money to buy my Christmas gift!

From black to white.... that's are my days..... aahhh and taking into consideration another little huge thing! that there is a person that is challenging me the most during this last days.... that's another heavy thing on my shoulders. At this point of my life, that was supposed to be quiet, are more difficults, with a lot of things to do, some of them are good and I will enjoy doing them, others are not as good but them have to be done....

Hope that next days are going to be better... if no I will need someone that can Fix me... as the song says....

Pueblito viejo


Yesterday was "Dia de las velitas", an important celebration that we as Colombians have. For me this day was different than the other years, far from home, with a lot of feeling in my heart, and living this day the best as posible, showing to others what we do in this special day :) .

Everything was perfect, but at the end something reminds in me... the fact that I'am far from home. I don't know why I have this feelings and not during the begining of this experience.... maybe because is christmas, and in this place is more like a commercial season than a spiritual and familiar, like in Colombia. Maybe because I'm far from home, maybe because I'm trying to show how we celebrate Christmas in Colombia and all the regards come to my mind, giving to me the sensation of cry...

Now I want to enjoy more this season, living it with my style, with the Colombian style :) I want to share with you a song that makes me regard my home and the feeling that I want to live my best years there, with the woman that I will love and the family that we will have together :) . Definitivamente Colombia es pasion porque los Colombianos tenemos esa pasion que hace que podamos mover el mundo!

Pueblito Viejo

Lunita consentida colgada del cielo
como un farolito que puso mi Dios,
para que alumbraras las noches calladas
de este pueblo viejo de mi corazón.

Pueblito de mis cuitas de cosas pequeñitas
por tus calles tranquilas corrió mi juventud,
por ti aprendí a querer por la primera vez,
y nunca me enseñaste lo que es la ingratitud.

Hoy que vengo a tus lares trayendo mis cantares
y con el alma enferma de tanto padecer,
quiero pueblito viejo morirme aquí en tu suelo
bajo la luz del cielo que un día me vio nacer.




Saturday, December 6, 2008

Sky

Yesterday I was in the volunteers day planting trees, an incredible experience. Way back home I was thinking in what is the thing that I like the most of this place. Beaches? Maybe, but I have been in my life more beautiful beaches, like in Jhony Kay Island, close to San Andrés. Women? There are some of them that are beautiful, but not as beautiful and smart as the Colombians or also as my ex-girlfriends. Landscapes? Yep, this country has a lot beautiful landscapes, like in Pico Duarte, on the beaches, or when you go out of the city, you see a lot of forest, trees, mountains. But there is something more beautiful than that.....

The sky!!!! Is incredible! Every day, even if there are clouds, you can see a beautiful sky, maybe because the sea wind cleans blows up all the pollution, maybe because the island is in the caribbean, maybe because is just the very nice characteristic of this country. It doesn't matter what does this sky beautiful... for me is the most beautiful sky that I've ever seen. I will miss it when I will be in another place of this world. For me this sky brings to me peace, tranquility, a feeling of be here, be in this moment, but not be with all my problems, just being in this sky, like fly over it, without leave your sit :) .