Thursday, October 23, 2008

Fear to face the past that come again

The title of this post is taken from a song of Carlos Gardel, called Volver (Come back). This song is about a person who come back to his town and remember all the things that happened there. Why I'm telling you about this song? because I'm listening it during the last 2 hours.... During the last days I was thinking about leave this place, I'm getting bored of some things, specially the work stuff.... sometimes I feel like people are getting bored of me...

In the other hand, I really want to stay here to know another places in this country, to give something to the people in order to leave something of me here, I want to live the christmas season in other place and teach to the others how we live it in Colombia :) . I will leave in frebraury, so I can wait until that. In the last post it was clear what I decided, but as usually in my life, there are some ups and downs... then i fell again :S, I asked to a special person in my life for an advice, and I got it! But at the end, after all the good wishes and words... there was an advice, the last one, saying that "I don't want to see you again"....

"Tengo miedo del encuentro con el pasado que vuelve a enfrentarse con mi vida." This is part of the lyrics of the song of Carlos Gardel. Now is true for me, I didn't want to talk with here, because I thought that she will act in an agressive mode, and it is true, she did it..... then I lost, for this moment, one of the most important persons in my life, I respect her decision, the problem is that I really need her now, she always was the beam of light in the middle of the darkness... now she has gone.................................................

Now I have to face my past, in order to have a more clear present and future, facing your past will give you the keys to don't repeat the same mistakes... what I discovered las night, that you have to be sincerely in all the things related to your heart, then you will know what is true, what is an ilusion and what is never going to happen. In order to learn how you are, you must know your past and be able to understand it, your past made you the person that you are right now!

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